How much do you think about food? 
Are you a “Foodie” – who enjoys the smells, tastes, textures, and full-body experience of eating something divine… or do you hardly give it a second thought.
Do you eat to live…or live to eat?
I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m an emotional foodie.  I love the entire eating experience…especially under distress, emotional breakdown, or mental meltdown…  It has been my addiction for 25+ years.  Some people have crack, liquor, gambling, sex… Me? I’ve used food to get me off and get me over…
I’m asking this, because I fully realize that everyone has a relationship with food – but there are different types of relationships…ranging from casual dating (ie: people who are not “attached” to the food experience) to full-on adulterous affair (ie: making love to food with every bite – especially in secret, sometimes hoarding food, or hiding food, or only eating certain things (or quantities) when no one can see it going down)
Admittedly, I have been both the woman who is happily married to food, and the one who has an adulterous affair with it.  The latter, I’m sure, is what helped me reach my heaviest weight of 312 pounds.
Well, that was a long time and over 100# ago.  But I still have some of the same issues with food that I always had.  Recently, my weight loss plateau’d.  For what felt like a good 6 months (give or take a few pounds).  I couldn’t figure out why that was.   I’m not a grazer, and I don’t eat a lot.  I DO crave carb-heavy snacks though. Especially at night during “Feeding Time” (the hours of 9:30-12midnight for me, if Im still awake…I’m in the kitchen trying to find something crunchy-sweet to put in my mouth – without fail)
I recently figured out – with a bit of help from some Google’-ing and other friends who are on the same journey (weight loss, via surgical intervention. Be it GBP, VSG, or LP).  My problem then (what put a lot of my weight on) is my problem now (what has greatly slowed down my loss): I don’t eat enough.
STOP. LAUGHING. *straightface*
I’m serious…
My doc told me prior to surgery that he thought that a majority of the reason I gained/kept on weight is because I don’t eat enough throughout the day.  I am the person who would skip breakfast, have a simple snack for lunch (ie: bag of chips & a soda)…and then gorge myself at a late dinner. ONE MEAL a day can’t possibly cause one to become morbidly obese – so it must have been all the cupcakes I was snacking on, too. *lol*
See, there is a thing called starvation mode that your body goes into when it’s not getting enough nutrients.  It holds onto the fat, for fear of not being fed again.  My problem then…my problem now.
Until a week ago.
I didn’t realize that even after surgery, I had been falling into that same habit.  I stopped taking my protein supplements (b/c for real – after an entire MONTH on a liquid diet (pre/post-op) I didn’t want to LOOK at another protein shake. I fell off of planning my meals (& snacks) after I hit about the -75# mark…and since then it had been an uphill battle.
I decided with the New Year, I would resolve to make better daily choices.  That’s it.  Just better choices on a daily (sometimes hourly!) basis. Not just about food, of course. About everything – finances, relationships, spiritual matters, etc… But committing to doing something to better my position on a DAILY basis.
That led me back to meal planning & journaling. And I must say – it has WORKED! 5 lbs down in a week – and not starving myself by any means.  If anything, I feel rather greedy b/c I feel like I’m constantly EATING. Well, of course, I’m mindful of the nutritional value of every, and am back to the “Protein/Veggies/the Everything else” mantra that my surgeon told me to make my own…and it’s working!

I have also started the Couch-to-5k exercise/training program, which has helped, I’m sure.  3 times a week for 9 weeks…and I’ll be ready for a 5k RUN!  It has always been a dream of mine to run like the wind *lol* So far, I’m keeping up. And to push myself into accountability – I registered for my very first 5k RUN – - set for mid April. I’m scared as all hell – BUT, I couldn’t have dreamed over doing this 100# ago… That one thing – getting the registration confirmation for the race FORCED me to really see that I’ve not only changed outside…but INSIDE as well. If I can “see” myself running this race…then I should eventually be able to grab hold and own these physical changes. ONE DAY AT A TIME :smile1: And the biggest thing? I feel TOTALLY SEXY after I work up a good [vertical] sweat ;) And of course…it’s good for my body.  I have seen my waistline in years… (ok, NEVER *sigh*) but, look what I found lurking in my new fave pair of jeans ???

I might be crawling across that finish line…but I will d@mn-well…FINISH!!!

In any event – as usual – I am all over the place with my thoughts…but that’s because of the excitement I’m feeling. SO THANKFUL for all of the support thus far.  IT has definately helped keep me focused and in check.

Also, my last blog netted ALOT of private dialog.  But I also wanted to share some of the other input I received on another forum.  For those about to go through this process, know that is a very strange, very difficult MENTAL/EMOTIONAL jaunt.  Govern ya’selves accordingly ;)    http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/topic/29254-continuing-success-how-do-you-do-it/page__pid__250148

Thanks for reading. Until next time….