Arm Meat & Water Balloons

Week 8 under the bridge! And I must say I’m happy w/the weightloss thus far, though obviously from some of my previous blogs it hasn’t been w/out a myriad of challenges (emotional AND physical).  

Let me cut to the chase – this blog is about my newly evolving self image. IE: mega-body consciousness. As much as I like to think I’m cute (because I SOOOOOOOOO am – at least most of the time *lol*)…I’m having increasing difficulty w/the reality of Skin-Meat. You know, the extra flaps & sagging & such. I noticed that my arms are doing the windflap thing and my skin is looking a lot “older” (wrinkly). The fat filled it out quite nicely, I think *lol* I’ve also come to the conclusion (long before this) that ill never have Beyonce legs. I’m ok with that. I AM exercising & toning and working my lil 5# dumbells, but b/c I carry A LOT of my weight in my legs, the saggage & jiggle is already a bit much. A “WHOLE LOT” bit much…  

I’m only about 45# down now… but 100# from now? *eek* I won’t even talk about my favorite Girls – The Wondertwins. (Ok, just a LITTLE bit *snark*) Besides my bras all being too big, the wondertwins have rapidly… deflated. Making them even more saggy than they were before – but a different KIND of saggy.  Imagine, if you will… A water balloon. When full to the brim with water, you have a nice, round, buoyant balloon, that fits nicely in the palm of your hand [or two]. Remove half of the water from the same balloon…and when you hold it from the knotted end…the poor thing just flops down, swinging, and lifeless, and…flat. BAH! 

One of my dear friends is going thru her own weightloss journey and has already lost close to 50 (not the same route as me, but via the good old fashioned diet & exercise) … she said something that made me REALLY think about starting my “Cougar Fund” – the stash I’m going to save for my body/boob lift when I 40 (after baby #2). She said: “I’m not doing all this work [to lose this weight] to spend the rest of my life hiding in foundation garments” (ie: spanx, body magic).  I TOTALLY get that. I mean, after all is said & done, it’s all about being healthy… BUT I also want to be comfortable and CONFIDENT in my [new] skin. If I was confident WITH all the weight on, I should be just as confident with it OFF. And anyone who goes thru a drastic weightloss and doesn’t have some type of body issue – as least at first, I need to talk to to figure out how they avoided it. In my clothes? YEAH, BABY!!! I’m starting to look like a real MILF. But out of them? Not so much.

I find myself overly concerned with the boobs-gone-awry, my arm floaties, and the “mushy” feel creeping up over most of my body (which is new for me – since my previous fat was rather solid). I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I’ll probably never see my cooch again, since it will be hidden under my fallen stomach-soufflé[s] (but I guess as long as the hubby can find it, I won’t worry about that too much *lol*) Overall, I’m A LOT more self conscious now, than I ever was at my biggest –  which was only a few short months ago. Ultimately…I’m just going to have to suck it up for the duration. Keep wearing my foundation garments to help pull my skin in as I continue my way down the scale. I’m going to really have to ramp up my weights/toning routine, versus just cardio & booty-building…I WILL DO MY PART. Now, I’m just hoping the Weight Loss Skin gods do theirs…b/c as it stands, I very well may not ever see myself as the Vixen that I used to be. That’s just real talk. *shrug*
 

In any event – I’m looking forward to some GOOD FOOD tomorrow. Granted, it will be a far cry from Thanksgiving as I’ve known it up until this point, but a lil turkey & greens never hurt anybody… 

Happy Thanksgiving, TURKEYS!!!